Welcome to Hialeah

New segment to the blog...If you have never been to Hialeah, you just won't understand.

Welcome to Hialeah: Where an Ambulance becomes a landscaping truck...

Got any funny Hialeah related images? Email them to StreetJMusic@gmail.com

What if God had Facebook?

So I came across something funny the other day, What if god had access to Facebook all those years ago, What would his status updates look like? A little something like this....



It's a joke, relax, Im pretty sure the Lord God has a sense of humor, I mean after all he probably invented it!

WrestleMania 27... Finally, the Rock has come BACK to WrestleMania

Yesterday was the biggest day of the year in all of Sports Entertainment, besides American Gladiators this is really the only other company I can consider Sports Entertainment...because the rest is either Sports, or Entertainment. The Grand Daddy of them all, WrestleMania the 27th edition.

The event began of course with special guest host The Rock. He came out, cut a promo as only he could, shitting on 9 years of story lines with 1 promo. Hes said about John Cena what I've been hoping someone would have said years ago, & the crowd LOVED it!

So the show began with Edge defending his meaningless title against Del Rio... the Winner of the biggest Royal Rumble ever...this match was an, I DONT GIVE A FUCK hurry up and get this match over with... first they expect me to believe Del Rio is a multi millionaire when he rolls up in his Rolls Royce... buddy, this is not the 80's wrestlers are wrestlers, not professionals with a side job that involves bouncing off ropes... I'm sorry, if i were a Millionaire i would not be risking my health in a ring. Id be at home sipping margaritas laughing at WrestleMania.... and of course he had to fight Edge, which i found out has become 11 time Champion since i last watched... WTF... if hes 11 time champion i wonder what Triple H is.... 52 time champion? I guess being champion doesn't mean shit anymore... i guess Bret Hart being 5 time champion really isn't that impressive, i guess Rick Flair and Hogans title reigns arent impressive anymore.... and its a match for the meaningless championship title? Why is it meaningless? Because its the Smackdown title that no one cares about, theres always 2 title matches, and you use one for the opening match? that shows alot... the winner of the Rumble is no longer the main event of wrestlemania? That shows alot.... this match sucked balls, really not entertaining at all. Christian should have turned heel. Then Edge walks out the ring and they fuck up Del Rios car, i guess in the fantasy world the WWE lives in, a multi millionaire doesn't have the insurance on his car for when a couple of hooligans dent it, no a multi millionaire wouldn't have insurance in his whip, or know to call the police and file a report or press charges on these morons....but the biggest moron is edge, I would have driven away with the car instead of bang it up...Wack...next please.

Cody Rhodes vs Rey Misterio...... YAWN... so i guess Cody Rhodes is the Phantom of the WWE and Rey Misterio is captain America? Pretty gay.... the match sucked, the gimmick for it sucked, what sucks even more is that they used protective equipment as weapons....isn't the protective equipment made of material to keep the body part your protecting from hurting? You know... cushioning and harnesses that protect, how the fuck is that gonna be used as a weapon? Its like hitting the guy with a pillow... GARBAGE match, worse than the first!

Snoop Dogg did a skit....overall entertaining, William Regal great job, Roddy Piper showed up, Awesome, the worse though, is this stupid lil character Horn Swoggle that they created years ago, never ever speaks, just a stupid lil leprechaun making noises, snoop leaves, and suddenly the first time he speaks he raps a whole fucking song...too bad the RAP SUCKED... was not well performed, and was really really CORNY...wrestling of the 80s was back, and I was not nostalgic at all...

Next was the Nexus vs Big Show, Kane, Santino and Kafi whatever the fuck his name is.... basically a 8 man tag to use up 8 wrestlers they had absolutely no idea of what to do with....and it lasted a total of 3 minutes, the entrances were longer...wow, the writing has gone to shit.

Next was a promo the Rock cut with Eve, Eve is a sexy sexy bia! Then Aunt May showing up made this promo funnier than the last 2 matches, definitely entertaining which is really, ALL I ASK FOR. Then the Rock and Stone Cold ran into each other, which was awesome, its sad that half the people tuned in for nostalgic reasons.

Next was Randy Orton vs CM Punk... this reminds me of why i will always have a special place in my heart for the WWE, cause when they do shit right, they really entertain you, this match reminded me of the attitude era, everything i love about wrestling was captured in this match, these 2 need major pushes, Orton needs to take the title from Miz while Cena gets a character face lift or goes out and beefs with rock....either way, Orton needs a title, WWE needs Orton as the new face, cause the people they have now, are garbage... CM Punk also needs a push...maybe against boring ass edge, so edge can lose his title for the 11th time before becoming 12 time champion...yawn...Best match hands down, but not most ENTERTAINING...

Next was a skit between the Rock and Cenas #1 Fan, Pee Wee Herman....a classic....Man the Rock is just SHITTING on CENAS whole career and gimmick...and the fans are loving, id be pretty pissed at Vince if he just allows some guy who hasn't even been around for years just come back and shit on my career when I've been the one carrying the company....but fuck Cena, Team Bring It

Next was the Hall of Fame induction ceremony... basically, something to occupy time so Michael Cole and The King could get to the backstage for their match...than Jim Ross and Booker T were introduced as the special guest commentators...

Next was the King vs Michael Cole....Special guest referee Stone Cold Steve Austin....this was the MOST ENTERTAINING match the whole night... Booker T's commentating, Stone Colds refereeing, his counting, his laughing at Michael Cole not knowing what the fuck he was doing, to his always warning Michael Cole....the match ended perfectly with Michael Cole submitting and quitting and Austin not quite sure if Cole was ready to give up....they knocked back a few beers and Booker T was like, let me get in on this, did his spinarooni, got a beer, and then got STUNNED as only Austin would...finally Austin got his 2 beers put em in the beer holder and rode off.....oh hell yeah! Michael Cole is not a wrestler but he was more entertaining than 75% of the roster, great match.

Next was Triple H vs Undertaker the return of 2 legends... overall great match, but these are the matches that make me question the psychology of wrestling, and what their opinion of ME is, do they really think I'm STUPID or something... for example, No Holds Barred match, Triple H is trying to hurt Undertaker and slam him through a table, yet hes concerned about removing the TV monitors from the table, if you really wanna hurt him, you leave them bitches on and slam him on them....but yeah, then, HHH has not wrestled in months, but somehow manages not to forget to leave his Sledge Hammer handy, how convenient....then you got Jim Ross and King trying to convince me that HHH really has a chance of winning....they say things like... in all his years in WrestleMania Undertaker has never fought anyone like Triple H, ugh, if i recall correctly, Undertaker already beat HHH in WrestleMania when he was 12-0 or something....so....hes been there done that, and gonna do it again....but this had to be the most anti climactic ending ever....finishers left and right, weapons everywhere...and HHH gets put to sleep?.....WTF??? and then the loser is on his feet first and manages to walk to the back while the Winner has to be carried away in a stretcher....WTF? i thought he was the DEAD MAN!....weak ending, even weaker psychology... the wwe medical staff is so concerned about making sure undertaker is okay, but before that let me make sure i can back in properly, WTF?

Up next was.... the Mixed tag match, which only leads me to think, wow, Trish is still the hottest bia to ever step into a WWE ring...the match was pretty boring except for Trish as always TRYING to entertain, which is impressive, she always tries new shit, steps it up, and for that i am grateful as a fan....snooki got tagged in did a handspring type cheerleader move and then finished with another similar move, which was pretty impressive let me tell you....better than alot of other celebrities bullshit guest appearances.

Finally is the MAIN EVENT....quick side note, ROCK is the host...and he hasn't shown his face for a couple hours....so I already knew the ending of this match would somehow involve him... Predictable as ALWAYS....

So Miz, THE CHAMPION, comes out first...hmmm... starts off with a nice lil intro documenting Miz since the Real World, and his rise to WWE stardom...he used Nas Hate Me Now....perfect....up next was John Cena, OH MY GOD, WTF is wrong with this guy....he has a whole church choir, then uses a DMX prayer for his intro....WOW, and he and WWE wonder how easily Rock was able to shit on his WHOLE Gimmick...cause its fucking CORNY, but at least you notice that Rocks promos are carrying some weight, he didn't bring out no fruity pebbles shirt instead it was RED....the match sucked, the ending sucked more balls... but this was all for the ROCK to reappear....the whole match the crowd was booing CENA, WOW, the fans turned on him so easily, reminds me of when they turned on Bret, his gimmick has been overdue a makeover for a long time, and it was the ROCK returning that made the fans realise, I would be pretty fucking Pissed off if I was Cena, but what are you gonna do? You'll never be the ROCK...So Rock Comes out....gets a text message from the General Manager....which don't get me started on this but, for months Ive shaken my head at this dumb ass "text message" gimmick....uh, Text Messages go to PHONES not laptops, and when they open the text message, it just happens to open up into a WORD PROCESSOR program with the whole script....but the Rock slapped the computer off did a couple catch phrases, and the match was restarted, but not before a ROCK BOTTOM to CENA....ahhh yes, WWE was so desperate to have the ROCK, that they must have agreed to anything he demanded... he must have been like, I wanna ROCK BOTTOM CENA and Vince was like sure, whatever you want, just shit on the whole WWE for the last 7 years, no problem....WOW....and then after Miz wins, Rock came in, Peoples Elbow...and just for that moment....Wrestling was ENTERTAINING!


Overall, I remember why I STOPPED watching WWE but also why it will always hold a special place in my heart! I hadn't seen WrestleMania in over 5 years, I rate this as a 6/10 ... cant wait till it comes to Miami next year, I WILL be there.

Kids: Dont do drugs and go to Ultra, this could be YOU!

This happens all the time, out of towners come to Miami from Europe and the rest of the United States for WMC, MMC, & UMF. They get so excited and recklessly let loose, they start taking countless amounts of drugs, acting like a bunch of morons and feel like they are in Woodstock or some sort of Hippie festival. FOLKS, just cause you hear us speaking a shit load of spanish doesnt mean this is a different country. This is still America, and there are minor things such as LAWS that you have to consider, plus dont forget the LOCALS, we dont fuck around!

Here is a perfect example, this asian dude either came from Cali, Seattle, Washington or maybe came in all the way from the other side of the world thinking he was in wonderland. He must have taken some Special K or gotten himself some amazing ACID because he figured, hey let me just get naked and start trying to grind on girls and their boyfriends, well, after many unsuccesful attempts with tourists he ran into a local homegrown Miami boy, and guess what happened next?




In conclusion, Dont Do Drugs, but if you will, KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON!

King Kolt - We In Yo Trunks feat. J II

Here is another one of my songs, shout out to the Street J street team for making this video!